keeping hearts in mind

On this day, I'm trying to remember to tend to my heart and to the hearts of those I love. Transistions and hard times bring up all kinds of awkward, and sometimes unwelcomed, feelings. For instance, I found myself snapping at Chris when he made the innocent conversational comment, "So, you're going to work today?"

Acidly, I replied, "YES!, and why is it every time I go to work everyone has to complain or say it like THAT? Nobody said it like that when you went to work every day."

It is true that the kids have been lamenting that I work so much. They aren't used to it. "We don't ge to snuggle anymore and you don't read to us," they say.

I feel guilty and I miss the lazy days of reading aloud, tidying and baking. Pulling weeds, exercising, filling the bird feeder (sorry birds), board games, writing, going out with my girlfriends and cooking for my family.  There just isn't time for all of it. Now I rush about, have a tight schedule, squeeze in cooking and snuggling. I write in the ten minutes I pad in before work and collapse when I get home. The kids are already asleep. I am fortunate to love my work and wonder if that factors in to some of the guilt I'm feeling. (Guilt, what a useless waste of time!)

I wonder if I'll have time to garden this year? I wonder if Chris will find a job . The transmission is failing in his car. The mortgage is late again. Time is slipping by so quickly and with all the juggling and worry I can barely keep all of our hearts in mind, but that is the challenge of it all isn't it?

Today, my son and I wen to a Saturday morning stained glass class. I spent 2 precious hours with him and only him. He has become quite good at stained glass and I can now just observe as he cuts and snaps the glass, grinds it, tapes it and soders with a thousand degree iron. 

Here is what he made:

February First: Disturbing Plants

February First

There is a tree on National Street,

one block over,

whose twigs are swollen with leaf buds

that have begun to open.

On an off ramp to interstate 64,

great clumps of forsythia have already bloomed,

in protest or ignorance ,

I just don't know.

Even the four story tall tulip poplars

behind our little bungalow are brazenly

displaying tiny pale yellow flowers, daring

spring to arrive.

And I, disturbed by these events,

still feel cold and tightly closed like

the sycamore and the fig trees.

Second Poem of the year (Draft)

Food Stamps

In mother form I enter the government building;

shame and dread nestled in my forehead wrinkles.

I do not mingle with the other weary souls

similarly equipped with resignation and desperate pride.

When my name is mispronounced into the

vast brown and orange room,

I half-smile, half bare my teeth as I'm lead

into a maze of half walls.

Upon providing required personal details, I flush

and exit quickly through the room of waiting families.

We do not meet eyes though we are hopeful,

strong and undefeated.

********

draft. wondering if third person would be better......

The Beginning of another Beginning

As we wait for an elusive dusting of snow in Virginia's capital city, as we count down the moments to Barack Obama's historic speech Chris asks me if I think it is so historic because Barack Obama is a black man. I replied that I thought his biracialness was playing a significant part in this occasion that feels so very important and notable but we both agree that Barack Obama's message of meaningful change and his ability to bring people together are the reason the U.S. people voted him into the highest office in the land, not his race. One day after Martin Luther King, Jr. day, I'm happy to see that we have come far and with Obama as President, I hope will continue to move further down the path of an enlightened government that takes care of its people and recognizes that we all profit when we are all happy and healthy!

So, today we eschew homeschool co-ops and other activities, though I will work tonight.  We will stay home, watch the inauguration speech and talk about these weighty subjects with our children. We will hope that Chris and the thousands of other people without work will be heartened on this day. We will hope, though it may seem unfair to heap so much upon one man's shouldres, that Barack Obama's leadership is strong enough and bright enough to lead us through these troubling times. This day will be a day my children will remember. Today we begin again.

 

If I were President of the United States. . .

Cruxien's Presidential Declarations (age 9)

1. I would forbid litter

2. Only cars that didn't pollute would be allowed.

3. I would make a Dept. of Trees and the nation would plant trees a lot.

4. Factories would not be able to pollute.

5. I would make more hospitals, fire stations and police stations to help the people.

6.I'd have an organic fruit company and it would be delivered by electric trucks.

Anwen's Presidential Declarations (age 4)

1. I'd eat candy.

2. I'd help people with boo boos

3. I would make sure trash was cleaned up.

4. I'd make plans and maps.

2 hrs: 27 min: 23 secs left.....

Happy 200th Birthday Edgar Allan Poe

  Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night.
                                                                       Edgar Allan Poe

I'm sure Poe was one of the first poets I read of my own accord. I also recall loving Shel Silverstein, Sylvia Plath and e.e.cummings. As a young girl I ADORED the animated version of the Tell Tale Heart that was narrated by Vincent Price. I have read some Poe to the kids, always in the daytime though. So Happy Birthday Edgar! Thanks for enticing my senses and fostering my darkside as a young girl:)

If you live in Richmond, The Edgar Allan Poe Museum is staying open for 24 hours in honor of this occasion. I hear tell there will be a seance to summon Mr. Poe. There will also be brownies (made my yours truly), rice krispy treats, hot cocoa, cider and coffee , care of Globe Hopper Coffee & Lounge...mmmmm, sounds like a deliciously dark event !