keeping hearts in mind
02.14.2009 On this day, I'm trying to remember to tend to my heart and to the hearts of those I love. Transistions and hard times bring up all kinds of awkward, and sometimes unwelcomed, feelings. For instance, I found myself snapping at Chris when he made the innocent conversational comment, "So, you're going to work today?"
Acidly, I replied, "YES!, and why is it every time I go to work everyone has to complain or say it like THAT? Nobody said it like that when you went to work every day."
It is true that the kids have been lamenting that I work so much. They aren't used to it. "We don't ge to snuggle anymore and you don't read to us," they say.
I feel guilty and I miss the lazy days of reading aloud, tidying and baking. Pulling weeds, exercising, filling the bird feeder (sorry birds), board games, writing, going out with my girlfriends and cooking for my family. There just isn't time for all of it. Now I rush about, have a tight schedule, squeeze in cooking and snuggling. I write in the ten minutes I pad in before work and collapse when I get home. The kids are already asleep. I am fortunate to love my work and wonder if that factors in to some of the guilt I'm feeling. (Guilt, what a useless waste of time!)
I wonder if I'll have time to garden this year? I wonder if Chris will find a job . The transmission is failing in his car. The mortgage is late again. Time is slipping by so quickly and with all the juggling and worry I can barely keep all of our hearts in mind, but that is the challenge of it all isn't it?
Today, my son and I wen to a Saturday morning stained glass class. I spent 2 precious hours with him and only him. He has become quite good at stained glass and I can now just observe as he cuts and snaps the glass, grinds it, tapes it and soders with a thousand degree iron.
Here is what he made:
Reader Comments (2)
xo to you all.
you are such an amazing, strong, talented lady.
and how proud you must be of your boy. that is a beautiful piece he made!
xo